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 Post subject: My Cousin's Book (So Far)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:15 am 
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Champion of the Wastes
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Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:03 am
Posts: 1494
Location: Augusta, Georgia
She asked me to spread this around, so post what you thought here.
http://www.wattpad.com/story/3548443-on ... iridescent

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 Post subject: Re: My Cousin's Book (So Far)
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat May 01, 2004 4:31 pm
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Location: Vault52, Washington, USA.
So I hate to be a jerk, but here I go:

So I only read the first two paragraphs, or so and so I can't speak for the whole thing. However I did notice a few mistakes that I used to make as well before I took the two writing courses from Long Ridge Writers Group.

If your cousin is serious about writing a book I'd recommend that she at least use the free sections of the site to get pointers and whatever the site offers. The courses aren't that expensive, as far as collage level courses go, and they are online so you work when you want as with other online classes.

I took the 'Breaking into print' and the 'Shape, write and sell your novel' courses and it was worth every penny.

I know that your cousin may not want to hear such advice/feedback, however my humble, non published opinion is she needs to.

If you wish to share this with her or not I wish her good luck on her writing endeavors!

Altra

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 Post subject: Re: My Cousin's Book (So Far)
PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:02 pm 
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Location: Skåne, Sweden
It has a bit of a broken flow and weird wording here and there. Looks good plot wise though. :)

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More than I, if truth were told,
Have stood and sweated hot and cold,
And through their reins in ice and fire
Fear contended with desire.

Agued once like me were they,
But I like them shall win my way
Lastly to the bed of mould
Where there's neither heat nor cold.

But from my grave across my brow
Plays no wind of healing now,
And fire and ice within me fight
Beneath the suffocating night.
- A.E. Housman

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A TRS Christmas - 2007 wrote:
PK: So let me get this straight. Some guy was able to make a yearly tradition out of getting action underneath a weed?
Zed: The man was a genius!
Arcy: We need to bring back this tradition!
Icey: You're all going to burn in hell!


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